Children - Separation & Divorce

If possible it is helpful if both parents explain to their child in an age appropriate manner the changes that are going to occur within the family. Allow your child time to ask questions and to process the information. Many children believe that they are in some way to blame for their parents break-up and often internalize their feelings and concerns. Provide reassurance that their behaviour did not contribute to this situation.

Parents are often so busy dealing with their own strong emotions during this difficult time that they are unaware of the grief that their child may be experiencing. Children often need help to put words to their feelings and to express their pain. Allow your child to keep a journal in which they can write down their feelings, moods and thoughts and provide healthy outlets for them to release their emotions.

How To Help:

Provide your child with routine and structure that they can depend on. This allows your child to feel grounded, secure and safe. Provide opportunities for your child to express their feelings without shame
or guilt. Understand that behavioural outbursts may be founded in their emotional pain, frustration and confusion. It will help your child if both parents stay involved in their life and communicate effectively. You may not be a couple any more but you will forever be parents of your child.

When To Seek Professional Help:

* Sleeping problems – nightmares, sleepwalking

* Withdrawal from loved ones and favourite activities

* Aggressive behaviour

* Extended periods of anger, anxiety, depression

* Self harm – cutting

* Eating disorders

* Drug or alcohol abuse

* Trouble at school, frequent truanting